ILLUSTRATED DIARY

May 9st, 2025

In case I need to sign my works, I've been experimenting with a signature which you may have seen in some of my latest paintings, e.g., the notepad cover.. Something like CII25, cii25, 𐌂||25, etc. I think there are other artists called "cii" but I don't see it as a problem.

May 7st, 2025

or maybe May 8th? TRANSLATION of Karol Cooks from French to English!

May 1st, 2025

NEW PAGE for things about language! The first entry is a small Comprehensive Input book to learn French with Karol.

April 29, 2025

For a long time I didn't (want to) understand the appeal of jewelry or pretty things in one's apartment. I was solely interested in the process of making art and, since I wasn't a jeweller, I wasn't interested. But knowing that Beauty flatters the senses, not necessarily mine, is good. Surrounding yourself with beautiful things, wearing aesthetically pleasing clothing, is good. I keep "Beauty" vague to account for slight personal variations in what is beautiful. I find some things beautiful that others do not, but I find things beautiful nonetheless, and I understand now that jewelry can be appealing.
I remember now that when I was a teenager, I used to spent hours looking at Lord Of The Rings themed jewelry. Something happened that made me lose interest in beautiful objects and focus on "intellectual rational pursuits" as I'm sure I liked to describe them. School, perhaps?
I saw a video about becoming a watchmaker by "Old Guy, Career Change". He said he would be "in the game at age 70". Interesting. I'm only [AGE REDACTED] so I could envision a career change INCLUDING a few years of schooling. I'm not interested in watchmaking per se, but this is manual and artistic work that I would like.

April 28, 2025

I've been carving wood lately. I've also been restoring (restaurating?) various yard sales finds (I use "yard sale find" in the nicest possible way) such as plates and vases. I glue the pieces together, I fill in the voids and cracks with air-drying clayputty from Action, and paint it with acrylics. It's unnoticeable a few feet away!

February 18, 2025

I'm still writing and illustrating. I've got plans to sell books on Amazon if you want a printed copy of, say, Carol's cookbook. I need to think about it; my work has erotic elements, so it may be complicated for someone to buy under their real name, and for me to publish under it. There's also Gumroad but I don't think I can sell paper books on there, only e-books. I'm looking into all that now.

December 23, 2024

(Originally posted on my Furaffinity as a journal entry) I think I may be a "tormented artist". I never considered myself as such, because (1) I am very often (in great majority) in a good, even mood, and (2) I believe everyone is tormented to some extent, and many are even more tormented than I am, or have much better reasons to be. But I leave social media regularly, delete everything; I come back, I have a good time, and something happens, online or not, and I isolate myself again. There's surely some kind of underlying issue such as autistic burnout which not being so sedentary would probably fix. In any case, maybe I deserve the "tormented artist" title. And, in any case, thanks for your continuing patience for my antics. In any case, I've kept everything in the MEGA archive and in my FA account, and on here.

December 6, 2024

Doctor?... I used to joke about that, but I can't imagine anything else I could do now. I'd be aged (not "old") by the time I finish my studies, but I'd have a few years left doing some good out there.

December 4, 2024

Someone very close to me (family) told me to kill myself. I need some time to deal with the feelings this, and all I've been suffering through the past few months, have given me. I'll be alright in a little while. Just need a small break.

November 12, 2024

I got an answer for the janitor position! I didn't get the job.

November 9, 2024

In a sort of callback to the September 24, 2024 entry, I sent a letter to get a low-stakes job as a janitor at a local school. No answer, again. This is really reflecting upon my own psyche! I feel worthless and unwanted, without any skill I could put to use helping people or getting a job. I know this isn't true, but this is a feeling I struggle with that rationalizing (bad economy, record unemployment in the country, etc.) doesn't entirely ease up.

November 5, 2024

It's hard to be forced to change career paths. I've been working and studying for more than a decade for the same kind of job and I have to change. Right back at the start.
Careers aren't someone's life, not entirely. But a job is mostly required to live. It'd be easier if getting a job was easier. I could do something to help myself.

October 14, 2024

I enrolled into a course and finally have something to look forward to besides waiting for companies to answer my letters (which they never do). If I go through it, and get my diploma (and a job), I will have effectively changed career paths quite dramatically, which is exciting.
To celebrate, I've added a new page in which I've posted some new drawings. Enjoy!

September 24, 2024

Even though I am proud of my academic accomplishments, I don't like to mention my studies or diplomas. But I find it bitterly funny that I've got several years of post-high-school studies and yet I can't get a job carrying boxes of books around. No answer even after a phone call! "Yes, we have your application, we'll get back to you soon. Your interest is noted by the way! :)"
The job was supposed to begin last month... I imagine they've found someone else.
Maybe I should prove I can carry boxes by putting up videos of me carrying boxes on Youtube?

August 23, 2024

My life is not back on track but I made an account anyway, or rather repurposed an older account I didn't use into a ciircuit account.
I've been out of a job for some time now. Earlier this week, I had a meeting with a government-funded agency supposed to help me find a job and get some unemployment benefits (which I don't qualify for anyway).
Whereas I'd been rather good and quiet, molded into following a more or less classic academic carreer, a very bad experience worsened my vision of (public) research past a tipping point.
I am now embracing more and more the idea of fleeing into the woods and living from nuts, acorns, and berries. Or learning a trade.

August 22, 2024

I think I'll go back to Twitter/X/Txitter once my life is back on track.

July 5, 2024

I've added a contact page, in which I will answer questions. This means the contact page will double as an FAQ... for now.
I've also added a signature of sorts on most pictures of the website; it's a small grey band stuck below the pictures that contains a link to this page. I've also thrown in the signature date for free.

June 28, 2024

I've written a little booklet on graph theory!

June 1, 2024 (Saturday)

If you're just pouring something clear out of context, I'll assume it's regular water, but I won't drink it.
I've put recent illustrations and drawings in the ILLUSTRATIONS page.
"Some ingredients go together like Karol and breakups." Would you think Carol would be able to say that? I didn't think so either. She doesn't strike me as someone who would do mean jokes like that. She would think it though. She isn't naive.

May 31, 2024 (Friday)

Revamped website to tidy things out. I will add content and pictures back.
Decided to continue illustrating Carol's recipes (Kiwi Salad).
Missing Twitter and friends there. May try BlueSky.

October 18th, 2023 (Wednesday)

I've put Carol's recipes in book form. Available here.

Diary.

Unemployment diary, and then student diary, and so on.

Regular diary and news.